Jump (what am I waiting for?)

 No one likes you, the voice whispers, low and rough. Kevin blinks, staring at the passing cityscape. The subway rocks under his feet, steady and rhythmic, its harmony only thrown off by little bumps here and there.

You cling on too much, the voice continues, burrowing into Kevin’s ears like a scar as Kevin blinks again, pushing back the tears. He’s in a public space. He can’t break down now.

Nobody wants you around, the voice drawls and Kevin’s grip on the subway’s handle, trying to school his breaths. He supposes that someone will notice soon and prays the stop comes soon.

Even your own family doesn’t care about you, the voice mutters. A sob catches in the back of Kevin’s throat, threatening to burst his bubble. Kevin forces his eyes onto the destination board, trying to count down the seconds until the doors open. The station enters view and Kevin sighs in relief.

Your friends leave you. They don’t want you around, the voice murmurs, dark and sinister as Kevin sucks in a sharp breath, trying to stop his shaking hand. The train door slides open and Kevin practically dives through, squeezing through the crowd.

Look at this world. Look at all the people you’re annoying. They don’t want you here, the voice hisses, sharp and painful and Kevin can only blink rapidly as the tears force through. He reaches the entrance of the station soon enough, his phone vibrating constantly in his pocket. His roommate must’ve found his note. Kevin doesn’t have much time.

It’s a good thing you’ve finally decided to jump, the voice finishes, like the last harsh wind of the thunderstorm as Kevin arrives on the bridge. He pulls out his phone to find Jacob calling him, probably his twentieth or something. Kevin swallows, breathing hard as the cold night wind caresses his cheeks. Jacob knows where he is. He doesn’t have long.

Stepping onto the bridge’s banisters, Kevin ignores the gasps of the pedestrians around him. He blocks out the sound, focusing only on his breathing and cold rush of the night. He closes his eyes, letting the cold wind ruffle his hair before taking a step forward.

No one will miss you, the voice calls out.

And Kevin? Kevin believes it.

There’s a story that the winds don’t tell from this cold, dark day

Of a boy who jumped off the bridge, the waves gentle with its embrace

There was another boy, who arrived too little too late

The second dove in, and they both were saved

But then again, was the first ever safe?